Friday, February 21, 2014
The Foot In Front of Me
There are times in our life that we feel like we are walking on a wire and either way we fall off will lead us into insanity. These are the times to look at the foot in front of us. Some of us may be fortunate enough to never have experienced such a feeling of not being in control of our thoughts. For those of us who have been there or who are there right now, the foot in front of you has a great meaning behind it.
I found that as I looked at the foot in front of me and thought of nothing else, I did not think and was purely in the moment. As I look back on that time period, I recall when I stopped thinking and when I just looked at my foot and saw nothing. Everything just disappeared for that one instant and my thoughts were gone. The more I did stop and look at my foot, the more I found that I felt better. I wasn’t thinking of my past or my future and all the things I could have done or all the things I should have done. I was in the moment looking at me. As I trained my thoughts around this experience, I began to find acceptance as I looked at the foot in front of me. Now as I look back, I know it was a message to myself to focus on right now because that is all we have. As I sifted through all my thoughts, I found pieces of them everywhere within my mind. As I tried to separate them to figure out what they were, they went all the way back to either love or fear. As I learned about a God that was of my understanding, I had to consider what everything was that fits into all the theories ever made by man. I read and studied the theory of everything. With each time I calmed my mind, questions would arise about how life is for me. How did I reach the point where I had to look at the foot in front of me and what does the moment mean anyway? The day I realized something was talking to me in my world made me look at that moment where I focused on my foot again. With each time I looked at each moment and realized that all of them together makes me who I am today, the foot in front of me takes a different meaning. It brings me to the moment that is the essence of my existence. Everything I am is right in front of me spilling out for all to see from the inside. As I looked at the world around me, I began to see messages of who I was inside. The butterfly and the dragonfly appeared everywhere as I thought about them. I then became fascinated with how our thoughts can bring things into our reality. When I explored how energy works, I discovered that energy cannot be destroyed, it just changes form. There is something talking to me in my world and in my mind. At one point, I thought that I had went insane. I write all these thoughts down that consume me. I wake up in the middle of the night with a voice telling me what to write. Words flow from my fingers with some of them making no sense at all to me. As I share the information with a select few to see what I write, I was at first startled to find that they are parallel with the Bible. I feel this presence with me all the time and at times feel like I am two people. Some days I can see myself walking down the hallway. I feel that someone is with me at all time. I discovered that this is called the Holy Spirit. That is a story for another day. I began reading the Bible and piecing together what I wrote. I go back to the moment when I first really looked at the foot in front of me and how I strive for that feeling at all times now. I now learn a whole new world as the Bible introduces me to angels and demons. The journey into that world will be shared as well, but for today, it is how I took my thoughts and stopped them from over taking me as I looked at the foot in front of me.