Angels and Demons

This is the story of how I built a bridge within my mind that helped me walk out of hell and find a heaven right in front of me.  The day I could not function the way I was in my life became the day I surrendered.  I had nothing else.  As I walked through my days and listened to the promises that a God of my understanding talked about in the Bible and in the Twelve Step Program, my life began to change.  I had no hope for the longest time and would look at the foot in front of me to get through my days in the beginning.  When I accepted that this is right where I am suppose to be in my life, I began to wonder “Why”?  All the resentments of where I had been and all the misery of who I was would not let me rest for even a moment.  I would go days without sleep and still wasn’t’ sure if I just wanted to live or die. As I began to reflect back on who I was and where that left me for today, I began to seek for the promises that so many people around me talked about.  Then the day came when the prayer I created to try and find this thing called hope appeared in a painting.  I was on my hands and knees reading my prayer in a painting that I thought I had made up in my mind when I realized nothing was at all what I thought.  I slept in a twilight state that night and woke to a presence that covered the air.  As I walked my dog the next morning, it felt like someone was watching me.  A voice that was above me walked with me and told me to begin writing as much as possible.  I knew that things felt different in my mind and I had to do something with all these thoughts.  So I started writing and equations of thoughts and emotions began to spill onto the paper.  I even broke down emotions and thoughts into steps and defined them.  I was working the Twelve Step Program at the time and was analyzing my entire life.  As I wrote every day, a flood gate opened up and I wrote about things I did not understand.  I would study what I wrote and compared the words to other’s viewpoints. 

As I worked the Twelve Step Program, I gradually saw all the promises of this program come into my life. The courage and the strength lit a fire inside of me to share this knowledge with others.  As I wrote, worked the Twelve Steps and studied the world around me, I realized that I am a piece of something else that I may not be able to see or understand, but I know it is there watching and guiding me all the time.  Now as I progressed with these type of thoughts, I began to hear about the angels and demons that are noted in the Bible. I began to realize that something that I didn’t understand was in my thoughts.  I could write things and not know what I was writing all day.  If I stopped writing and went back to it later, I could pick up right where I left off with and finish writing the information that poured out of my mind.  The words I wrote baffled me.  I had a Catechist instructor and an author who wrote several books on the Bible look at my writings.  They told me that my writings were found in the Bible. Why was I writing about things in the Bible?  How was I doing this as I did not know anything about the Bible?

I could not figure out how angels and demons fit into the equation for the longest time.  As I prayed and studied, one day I wrote “The Battle” and my perspective of what and where our thoughts come from changed forever more.  As I learned about a war that is talked about in the Bible between God and Satan, I began to study the book of Enoch and other writings with references of what these fallen angels are and why they will never be able to return to what some of us call heaven.  It took me several months to put it into my mind that there are entities that enter our thoughts and can control us based upon what level of awareness we hold inside.  I was one of those people that allowed my thoughts to control me for many years.  As I became more aware of what was going on in my mind, I realized that there is a battle right inside of my thoughts.  Even on the days I was capable of feeling good about myself, thoughts would seep in to remind me of all the things I have done wrong in my life and I would spiral down into the feeling of worthlessness within seconds of these thoughts entering my mind. As I began to separate these thoughts and as I learned about angels, I began to see that if I asked for help from the God of my understanding, I could maintain positive thoughts for longer periods of time.  Then the day came when I was capable of maintaining a feeling of love all day as I worked the steps in the Twelve Steps.  As I wrote every day, knowledge started to pour into my mind of what love is and what fear is and how angels inspire and how demons destroy.  As I began to appreciate how powerful our thoughts are, I began to gain the knowledge that if I am full of fear, negative thoughts emerge into my mind.

I counsel people who have attempted suicide, who have addictions, who are dying and who just feel they have no purpose in this life.  As I complied all my experiences with patients and in my personal life, I realized that there is something at work on our planet that a lot of us are not aware of and we have allowed our thoughts to control us.  As I defined love and fear based thoughts, I began to place the angels and demons into the equation.  Many suicide attempts that I have counseled over the years have told me that they did not want to hurt their self and that the thought “just came to me”. 

As I started gaining control over my thoughts, my life began to change.  I began to gain the knowledge of why everything in my life unfolded the way it did and why I experience such turmoil in my mind.  All the promises from the Twelve Step Program were coming true for me.  I began to release the resentments and began to understand that the experiences that resulted in those resentments were to help bring me to another level of awareness.  It all is relevant and has a purpose for my growth.  As I released the negative thoughts, knowledge poured into me faster than I could comprehend.  My world became a playground and I could not wait to see what the God of my understanding had for me every moment of everyday.  I began to notice that my world responded to me based upon my level of excitement.  As I watched the people around me that were still in turmoil within their mind, I began to see their fears had even emerged into physical ailments.  I began to look at fear from a different perspective and questioned if the God of my understanding did not hold fear and is only full of love, then where does this fear come from?  Then the day came when I received the knowledge that the fallen angels are real and they come into our thoughts to create illusions of our world.  Their goal is to keep us from finding love so we do not connect with the inner peace that leads us into a greater understanding of what God is inside of us.  I recall the day I came to this understanding as I saw fruit bats, butterflies, dragon flies, parakeets and vouchers swarm around me on my patio.  I heard a voice inside of me say, “They know I know”.  I didn’t know what that meant at the time and said it over and over that entire day.  I now understand as I know that it is my responsibility to share what I have learned. 

We are at war within our thoughts that come from a world very few of us have been given the knowledge to understand.  We are not alone and angels and demons are real.  Some of us choose to ignore them and do not even realize we are being controlled by an unseen world.  Slowly, as those of us who are tired of being tired wake up, we will begin to realize that we are in a battle for our life on this planet.  The unseen world is emerging into our reality moment by moment.  Once we are aware of this world within our mind, we cannot go back to sleep.  Because our planet is so unbalanced, the suicide rate continues to rise as many of us loose this battle.  My hope is that those of you who see me as someone who has lived the hell and knows the demons inside, will see that we do not have to suffer any longer.  There is Something Greater at work in our life calling to us for the change that is coming.  We can choose to pretend that it is not there and look the other way as everything around us falls apart or we can begin sifting through our thoughts and taking control of what we want and what we do not want inside of our mind.  As we take control, we will then be able to help others learn how to do the same.  It all starts inside of each and every one of us.  “Seek and ye shall find” (Matthew 7:7).

 

The Foot In Front of Me

There are times in our life that we feel like we are walking on a wire and either way we fall off will lead us into insanity.  These are the times to look at the foot in front of us.  Some of us may be fortunate enough to never have experienced such a feeling of not being in control of our thoughts.  For those of us who have been there or who are there right now, the foot in front of you has a great meaning behind it. 

I found that as I looked at the foot in front of me and thought of nothing else, I did not think and was purely in the moment.  As I look back on that time period, I recall when I stopped thinking and when I just looked at my foot and saw nothing.  Everything just disappeared for that one instant and my thoughts were gone.  The more I did stop and look at my foot, the more I found that I felt better.  I wasn’t thinking of my past or my future and all the things I could have done or all the things I should have done.  I was in the moment looking at me.  As I trained my thoughts around this experience, I began to find acceptance as I looked at the foot in front of me.  Now as I look back, I know it was a message to myself to focus on right now because that is all we have.  As I sifted through all my thoughts, I found pieces of them everywhere within my mind.  As I tried to separate them to figure out what they were, they went all the way back to either love or fear.  As I learned about a God that was of my understanding, I had to consider what everything was that fits into all the theories ever made by man. I read and studied the theory of everything.  With each time I calmed my mind, questions would arise about how life is for me.  How did I reach the point where I had to look at the foot in front of me and what does the moment mean anyway?  The day I realized something was talking to me in my world made me look at that moment where I focused on my foot again.  With each time I looked at each moment and realized that all of them together makes me who I am today, the foot in front of me takes a different meaning.  It brings me to the moment that is the essence of my existence.  Everything I am is right in front of me spilling out for all to see from the inside.  As I looked at the world around me, I began to see messages of who I was inside.  The butterfly and the dragonfly appeared everywhere as I thought about them.  I then became fascinated with how our thoughts can bring things into our reality.  When I explored how energy works, I discovered that energy cannot be destroyed, it just changes form.  There is something talking to me in my world and in my mind.  At one point, I thought that I had went insane.  I write all these thoughts down that consume me.  I wake up in the middle of the night with a voice telling me what to write.  Words flow from my fingers with some of them making no sense at all to me.  As I share the information with a select few to see what I write, I was at first startled to find that they are parallel with the Bible.  I feel this presence with me all the time and at times feel like I am two people. Some days I can see myself walking down the hallway.  I feel that someone is with me at all time.  I discovered that this is called the Holy Spirit. That is a story for another day.  I began reading the Bible and piecing together what I wrote.  I go back to the moment when I first really looked at the foot in front of me and how I strive for that feeling at all times now. I now learn a whole new world as the Bible introduces me to angels and demons.  The journey into that world will be shared as well, but for today, it is how I took my thoughts and stopped them from over taking me as I looked at the foot in front of me.

To Suffer or Not to Suffer

For those of us seeking for peace and understanding of what we are doing on this planet, there are many paths to choose. It is difficult to comprehend that we are right where we are suppose to be as we see the chaos around us.  To understand the knowledge that we create our reality brings us to a whole new level of awareness.  As we learn that we planned this moment in time to bring us one step closer to where we started so long ago, we begin to view the people around us differently.  It is at first very difficult to accept that all the pain and anguish in our life is something we created in our mind.  As we begin to separate thoughts and identify what type they are when they enter our mind, we will be able to start taking control inside.  This level of awareness brings a world that turns our thoughts into reality, at times instantaneously.  Other times it may take longer than we would like but once things appear, we understand why there was a delay in their appearance to begin with.  As the connection to Something Greater grows with this awareness, we will find an inner strength that emerges through our entire being and projects out into our world.  Others will look into our eyes and either look away because they are unable to look into this light of knowledge that is calling them or they will soak it into their being as they make attempts to find it for their self.  With each person we encounter in our day, it is important to remind our self that we placed them into our path for our own awareness.  Even when we think we are helping someone else, we will find that we are really helping our self.  Knowing there is a world within our mind will bring fear of what this means to us.  The fear is not from Something Greater.  Because we are weak when fear is present, we are susceptible to energy sources that can enter in between our thoughts and emotions.  It is our responsibility to ensure that we know which energy sources we are allowing inside our thoughts.  We separated from the Source of All Creation because of our fear and have spiraled down into our current existence.  We keep coming back into human form in attempts to break through the fear based thoughts to reach the voice of love for a pure connection back to this Source of All Creation.  The goal is to return to this Source of All Creation. There are energy sources that have chosen to separate from this light with the destiny to never connect again.  They have made a conscious choice to take a different path full of anger, full of jealousy and full of hatred.  Their intentions are to invade our thoughts and cause confusion and fear.  They can only enter if we allow them inside.  They can enter even when we do not understand who they are.  They will only be able to control those who have forgotten who they are and why they are in human form.  As we become more aware of what is happening in our thoughts we have freewill to go down any path we choose with this knowledge.  Some of us choose to do nothing and fight within our mind as we do not take control because we do not believe there is anything else that lies inside of us.  This level of existence may take several more life times of the suffering that our planet has chosen for the path back to Some Greater.  Time is irrelevant in the unseen world.  The day will come when we will realize that we made this choice to suffer and do not have to take this path to connect with Something Greater.  Some of us have suffered long enough and now stand up for the connection to Something Greater through a different path.  Knowing that the Source of All Creation comes through the voice of love and knowing love is forgiveness, healing, strength, power and knowledge brings us to an understanding that we don’t have to suffer to find this connection.  Our planet recognizes pain and fear based thoughts first and have a strong connection to the energy source that goes along with such thoughts and emotions.  As we become more aware of the voice of love, we will realize that we do not have to be filled with suffering to find it.  There will come a day when we will wake up and question, “To suffer or not to suffer?”

 

 

 

The Playground

There are times in our life that we will find the need to stand up for our self in situations that we identify are wrong on our behalf.  As we become stronger and begin to walk with authority in our day, we will find that the way we use to allow others to treat us is no longer acceptable.  As we find the power of love in our life, we will begin to like our self and will want to be treated with respect by others.  With the voice of truth, we will begin to speak out when injustice is done to us. The thoughts in our head that bring us fear or confusion are not from the voice of love.  When we get a strong feeling or thought about something someone did to us and feel the need to vocalize our truth in the situation, we must first ask our self what our intensions are with this person.  Knowing there is a bigger picture that we cannot see helps us release any doubts of fears about what is happening and about speaking our truth. We must accept that no matter what we say to others, they have their own journey to travel and we do not have any control over what they think or feel in the situation.  What we have control over is how we feel and what we think about in situations that cause us fear or confusion.  As we learn that emotions such as anger, jealousy and hatred are fear based emotions, we can then identify these energy sources within our mind.  We may even feel as though we have no power over thoughts within our mind and lash out at others as a result.  We may reflect back later on what occurred and wonder how we even thought some of the things we said. The day will come when all thoughts will have a purpose for us and we will understand that we have control over what we think and how we feel about what happens to us.  As we become more aware of these thoughts, we will be able to separate them within our mind.  They will be able to be put into two categories; love or fear based thoughts.  Knowing that the voice of love brings power, strength, healing, forgiveness and knowledge, we will want to seek for this voice and cast aside the voice of fear that brings hatred, jealousy and anger. 

The days we cannot find the voice of love and we are consumed with fear base thoughts are the days when we must remember that we are part of Something Greater and the thoughts of fear are not .  Some of us take it one step further. As awareness grows, we begin to understand that thoughts come from the unseen world and we are the vessel.  We have control over which spirits we allow into our mind when we become aware of this ability.  We can call to these energy sources for more thoughts as we seek them.  Those of us who choose to explore these energy sources have found a whole new world on our planet.  Some of us are stuck in the fear base sources that cause a dark reality.  Some of us have chosen a path that leads to the magic of the day.  We find that the world is like a playground and when something complicates things for us, we must remind our self that there is a bigger picture at work that we just do not understand at this time.

The Voice of Love

We are all on different levels within our mind.  Depending upon the level of pain we allow inside of us determines how much fear we hold.  The more fear we have, the darker our reality becomes.  As we sit alone and listen we can hear the voice of fear and the voice of love telling us what to do.  As the fear prevails, it will seep into a sickness that will gradually cover our entire existence on the Earth.  Each of us planned the time period when we came to this planet.  Our ages, where we live and where we were born add up to the level of awareness we hold.  We have the potential to expand this level of consciousness at a great speed if we choose.  All the planets are aligning for the day when all will see what really lies inside.  There is a world right within our mind.  Some of us are beginning to feel different when we are talking to certain people.  Some of us will begin to hear the song that is just for us.  Then the day will come when we will feel like something is with us when we are alone at night.  That is the day when we will make the choice to learn more about what it is or push it aside to forget.  Because our planet is so unbalanced, the energies go back and forth with great power.  Some of us have killed because the voice of fear becomes so strong that there is no other thought that can enter.  We are at a time when we must go within our thoughts and figure out what all of it is about. The energies that speak to us have a life of their own.  It is up to us to only allow what we want from this unseen world.  Some of us have turned the fear into physical ailment with attempts to get rid of it.  We are the vessels for the spirit world.  They come through our thoughts and we have the freewill to allow them inside.  There are many spirits that can surround us at any given time.  The times we feel irritable and don’t know why may be the times an energy source is trying to enter into our space.  Some of us are beginning to understand how important our thoughts are and have found the voice of love that brings the spirits who want to help us.  This planet is watched by all the universe as we discover this world inside of us.

 There is lots of writing on different ways to bring certain spirits into our life.  We all will find our own way to the voice of love.  Some of us have lived many life times in attempts to awaken the part of us that remembers why we are here.  We planned the paths we will choose in attempts to bring all worlds together for this awakening.  The planning it took for the moment when we realize we are part of Something Greater is beyond our comprehension at this time.  Every moment of every day is one moment closer to this awakening.  Some of us have already reached a level where we see pieces of what the spirit world is about.  Some of us choose to take this knowledge and keep it for our self.  We have planned this time period because we are the chosen for this glorious occasion. We will all begin to remember as we notice the world speaking to us.  Did the dragonfly appear because we thought about it first? Then the thoughts will turn into signs that show up in our day.  These signs will tell us if we are on the right path to this awakening.  Those of us who feel there is no hope and do not want to live the way we are living will hear an echo in our mind that lets us know that we are not alone.  We will hear this voice of love speak to us inside.  The awareness is at its peak when we first wake up.  The voice that first enters our mind upon awakening will tell us who walks with us today.  With each time we look for love within our mind, little by little it changes parts of our day.  Once we see that what we think about comes into our life, we start to see that all the people who hurt us are just reflections of our self.  When we realize that there is a bigger picture that we don’t understand, we begin to search for more.  As we try to figure out how things appear in our life as we think them, a whole new awareness begins.  Listening to the voice of love brings us to a different view of what goes on inside our head.  Then as we figure out that it is this voice that guided us on this path we find that we changed our world from the inside out.