I feel the
joy that comes as a payoff when faith is worked over and over in my life. Like
the metal that is beaten into the most beautiful of statues, that is the
feeling today. I shine from all the work that now illuminates in my life. I
understand, yet, cannot articulate this process as I look over the beauty that
has formed from all the chaos. Like the baby chick that must work so hard to
hatch from the egg or the butterfly that bursts from the cocoon. I have been
beaten down into a life that brings me this joy today.
Even on the
days when there was nothing but suffering and I was filled with fear, I faced
this fear over and over until it was finally freed. I had to feel it over and
over until it became the joy of this moment. I stood in fear many days with
tears of uncertainty, yet my faith stayed strong with the belief that if I did
not sway in what I wanted in my life, I could form this into my world.
It took
years to see this day and here I stand with a new world that surrounds me because
of my faith. The debris from all the chaos has been cleaned up and the garbage
has been discarded. Some debris has been salvaged and some has been turned into
a whole new form.
The
aftermath from the hurricane called “My awakening” brings me into a whole new
level of understanding. It could not have happened any other way. All I went
through was needed to form me into the courage that can only come from such
fear.
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