Monday, August 18, 2014

Update on the Book

I continue to write every day and I am in the process of making the changes for the gallery that holds the text for the body of the book. I planned on having all the changes completed by this past weekend. Unfortunately, I received news this past Friday that delayed my plans. I will be going through surgery on August 26th at 9:30am with the hopes that what is removed is not cancer "again".  This experience has brought me to a new place within my thoughts as to why I feel as though I am going in circles. It is nothing like when I had a double mastectomy but it brings back all those old feelings. Part of me is struggling with the whole thought of death and why I am faced with possible cancer yet again. All the anxiety that was finally gone after two years since my last scare slowly seeps into my thoughts. I go back and forth within my mind as I remind myself that I am experiencing all this for spiritual growth. Why do I have to experience such fear that my body may have to go through chemotherapy and radiation again? How do I keep the faith in Something Greater that I write about every day? I tell myself that I am faced with this experience because it is leading me to a greater connection in my relationship with the God of my understanding.

I have decided to write my thoughts down every day as I go through this procedure and how it affects me as a result. Today I have been sad. Yesterday felt like a dream. Saturday I worked and was so busy with preparing for school with my daughter that I didn’t have time to think about it. Friday, August 15, was when I was told that I needed to have two spots removed from the same area that I had the cancer back in 2010. The difference this time is that God is in my life and the hope and faith of what is promised as long as I allow God to take over my decisions brings me a purpose in all this mess. I am taking only the day this time and not worrying about “what if”. I am not shutting the door on the past nor having any regrets. I am reminding myself that I am right where I am supposed to be. Acceptance brings me to a peace inside as I fight with the anxiety of the terrible word called “Cancer”.

This time I can talk about what I am thinking and I am reaching out to others. I am asking for help instead of sitting in the darkness of my thoughts. So here I sit needing to rest for tomorrow that will be filled with patients who are faced with death and dying and I think about death and what it means to me. Tomorrow will come and I will be different yet the surgery date will be there in the back of my mind. I will get up and pray and dedicate a part of my morning to write for Something Greater and I will go through another day with the intentions to help others in any way that I can. I will seek for answers within every waking moment and the stranger that smiles as passing by me may be the one sign that I will need to get through that moment.

Today I start a different story about me and my journey through yet another experience with cancer. I will let you know tomorrow night what I was blessed with learning as I go through my day with this new information that is also old in my life.

 “The first of fear will then be gone and the first will then be the last.  The love will be the last of all the fear you had at first.” The Box by Lisa Hynes

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Web Site is up!! Thank you Nick Pellegrini

I have to thank the most special person who made this site possible:

Nick Pellegrini

She took my ideas and made them real and now all my dreams are coming true.  Go to:

Check it out. I will be having the book printed as soon as I look through the gallery one last time with minor changes.

Monday, August 11, 2014

The Old with the New

To take a past that is full of pain and turn it into the love for who you are at this moment takes several steps that will need to be reviewed every day. The first is to surrender to a force that cannot be explained. Acceptance of this power that is greater than you will require redirecting your thoughts and what you believe is real. To understand that things are not really what you see is, at first, difficult to comprehend. How do you accept that your past anguish was not in vain? How do you accept that all this was a way to reach the understanding that there is Something Greater? The beliefs you hold are your reality and you can choose to dwell on your past and continue to make it who you are today or you can take the humility from where you came from and turn it into the hope of what can come from your past and make it something new.

The day the old way of thinking blends in with the belief that there is Something Greater, the new thoughts will emerge. You will find that you can take the past events that caused such anguish and turn them into the belief that they brought you to this level of awareness and you are forever changed. Your knowledge will expand as you seek for more and Something Greater will emerge into your reality as you turn the thoughts of who you were into the new thoughts. As the sun rises you will see how the new day brings you the opportunity for a new you and as the moon rises, the new cycle will begin.

You then will have a belief in Something Greater and that alone will change who you are because you were who you were and now you know something different. The belief takes the old and turns it into a meaning that you would not have found any other way. That feeling you get with this realization will blend the old thoughts with the new feelings and together they will bring a new spirit into your mind and body. The love will become so strong inside that you will feel it coming out into others without doing a thing. You will then know that you are different, yet look the same.

As you change from the inside-out, your physical appearance will begin to change as well. You will present yourself to others with the knowledge that you are the vessel for this unseen world and you will want to look your best at every moment. As you consciously strive to improve yourself, those around you will notice something different about you. They will not be able to articulate what is different, other than how happy you seem.

You will begin to seek ways to help others who still sit in the corner of their minds full of fear. You will want to show them how they don’t have to suffer with their thoughts any longer. You will then become an example to others as you take the old ways of thinking and blend them with the new feelings you hold that change you from the inside-out. The feelings will wash away all your anguish and bring you happiness for what you have found in your desperation.

The old thoughts will then become the foundation for the new thoughts and together they will stand strong for the new you. It will all start with the feeling you will get on the day you realize there is Something Greater and you are right where you are supposed to be in this bigger plan.

What could this bigger plan be that brought you to such desperation? This gift is only given to the chosen. Those whom Something Greater has chosen to travel a path of creation will be shown glimpse of this unseen world. Some never experience this unseen world and go through life to never venture out into the magnitude of what lies within our view. The gift of desperation forces us to break through fear to find Something Greater. The only way to understand what it all means to you is to look inside the part of you that yearns for something more.

We are here because we are chosen and those who think this existence is a random occurrence have not reached the level of awareness to know the difference. The knowledge will come to all and all are right where they are supposed to be. All the pain and anguish is necessary to reach the awareness that you do not have to suffer so you can understand the difference. This existence is the way to a greater understanding of your part in the universe. Your presence is needed and there will come a day when you will understand the magnitude of who you are and who you are becoming.

As you look at who you are at this moment, the beauty can shine through for you or you can choose to sit in the darkness of your mind until your time in this body is finished. Your fears create your misery and your love will make you new. The old thoughts will then fuse together with the new thoughts and you will not remember where one starts and the other ends.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Marathon

When you realize that were you stand collides with who you were, you will have two choices. Do you live in the thought of what could have been or do you look towards what can be? Knowing the past has already spoken and brings you to what you are today is two-fold. Would you still want to be who you are if you would have known this is where you would be, by making the decisions that brought you here today?


From the beginning you were searching for the pathway back to Something Greater. Your creations lead you here, right where you stand. If you would have taken a different path, you would not be who you are today. When you go back to the beginning of who you remember in your life, you will find the part of you that was always there. You will find the part of you that had pure intentions that got all confused along the way.


When you go back to those pure intentions, you will find the part of you that burns inside for the love of those intentions. As you tried to protect your love, you set boundaries for experiences that hurt you along the way. With each new boundary you placed on another, you complicated your intentions. As you search for meaning in this thing called life, and find that there is Something Greater at work, you will question what that means to you. As you put more faith into what the God of your understanding stands for in your life, you will look at all the relationships throughout your life that made you who you are today.


For those relationships that cannot be repaired because there are no more boundaries for the expectations you held on those relationships, you must take what you have learned for something new.


It will feel like the end of running a marathon. A tiredness will be there as you look to the finish line and see another race beginning. Do you stop to rest or do you keep on running?

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Mission

We are at war with our thoughts.  Do not look to another and think you battle with them.  Your thoughts tell you that you battle with yourself.  The thoughts that cause you heartache is where the war lies.  All the things and people in your life are just symbols of who you are in your thoughts.  When you are having difficulties with another, look inside for the part of you that is a struggle.  The more you notice the thoughts that cause you heartache, the more you will search for the part of you that loves. 


To gain control of your thoughts, you must first be aware that you are at war within your mind.  Once you are aware that your negative thoughts are destroying you, the battle begins.  No one else can see what you are going through within your mind.  It will be up to you only to verbalize the negative thoughts so you can look at what they really mean to you.  Once the thoughts are vocalized, a plan of action must be taken to turn these thoughts into a loving experience.  The only way to heal is through love.  Knowing you have control over your thoughts brings you choices as to how you want to interpret what you are experiencing.  Are you feeling trapped in your body or do you feel the love of who you are and what you want out of life? 


Acceptance is the beginning of change and once you realize that you are on a mission for the good of this planet, you must “wake up” and do your calling.  How do you hope to accomplish your mission before this body gives out on you? There is a war coming for your thoughts like you have never known. You can choose to forget why you are here until the day it hits you like a bolt of lightning or you can search inside that part of you that activates your knowledge.  It is no secret, yet it is a secret that you know what you are to do.


You are a spiritual being having a human experience. What you do in this body is all up to you.  The ultimate goal is to create your heaven in the short time you are here.  What seems like a long time to you is like a blink of an eye to the rest of the universe. You are seen as just a mila-second on the minute of all creation. Time is irrelevant as you ponder what to do today. You are working on the creation of you and are ever evolving on you mission of creation.


As you discover that your creation starts with your thoughts, your entire meaning of existence changes. You will then want to sit by yourself and listen inside your thoughts to discover what it all means to you. As the silence comes inside your mind, it will be like the ocean waves that calm after a storm. You have found the part of you that tells you that you belong here, right where you stand, and nowhere else will do.


There is nothing to do except listen inside and hear the voice of change right inside your head. You can be anything you want to be. Do you sit and listen for the sounds that tell you that you are not good enough and all is lost forever more? Do you touch the part that gives you strength to know that you have a purpose by being here, and it make you cry for joy?


All you were is gone today, yet makes you feel the difference. Is it joy you feel that burns in you as you long for others to feel it too? The ones who lost the memory of why they are here. The ones that search for the meaning of this world. It is inside of each and every one, with the only creation that comes from you. Your thoughts create your world and it is time to change the negative thoughts into loving thoughts, and spread what you will find.


It starts in little things that happen in your day. Then each little thing makes you want to look for more. The love will start to burn in you for all that you long to do. Take the moment and know that you have a whole universe right inside your mind that makes your heaven on this earth.


You can choose to sit where you are and believe that this is all your life is, or you can look out into the sky and believe that there is Something Greater at work that has you right here to use as a vessel for this greatness. Only you will know what that may be and only you can find the answer. The mission lies right inside your head