I come to you with a message and know I am the vessel for this greatness I have found. To appreciate the words I speak, you must hear my story. I am no more special than you, if anything, I crawl out of the darkness covered in mud and despair. Through my desperation, I prayed for something to bring me peace inside. Full of anxiety and fear, I walked through my days a shell of a person. In my desperation, I decided to try and verbalize my need for help. After all, I had nothing else to try because nothing else had helped relieve my pain and anguish. I prayed out loud every day at least five times a day, “May the grace of God shine down on me”. I began to search in other people for my answers but I could not talk to anyone without crying. Communicating my thoughts was a challenge because I couldn’t identify with what I was feeling. I knew that I had lost my motivation to live. I couldn’t be with other people yet I couldn’t be alone. My body shook all the time from the anxiety that became a part of my everyday life. I had a difficult time getting through the moment, let alone the day.
On March 15, 2013 I had an experience that changed my life. I was in a thrift store trying to help a little old woman get a picture that was stacked against the wall behind a lot of other pictures. She was so unusual with a cane on each side that had handles wrapped around her wrists. She wore a Dr. Seuss-looking grey hat. She was loud and obnoxious as she ordered me to get a picture from the back of the stack. It was a large painting and it was heavy. I did not look at what the picture was and did not care about anything at that time. The woman began yelling at me, “there are words on the bottom” and she told me to read the words. I said that I could not see the words because they were so small. She yelled, “Get down there and read the words and read them loud because I can’t hear good”. I had to get on my hands and knees to see the words that read, “The grace of God shines on Thine”. As I read the words, I began to feel something inside of me stirring. I looked at the painting that was of a church with the sun shining through some trees and I began to cry. I looked up at the woman who was still waving her cane at me and I realized that Something Greater was at work for me to have such an experience. The woman did not know that I had been praying this prayer for several weeks now and here I was on my hands and knees reading my prayer in a painting with a rude little woman standing above me ordering me around. As I tried to get up off the floor, my whole perspective on my life changed within an instant. I was in a dream state as I tried to process what was happening. I felt as if I was floating as I made my way home that night.
The knowledge I have been given has changed me forever as my words have led me to a greater understanding about life. I have the ability to combine the physical world and the spiritual world and there is perfect order in this process. The key to it all is within each of us as we have the ability to bring heaven into our everyday world.
As I write, I read the words over and over and know that Something Greater is at work in my life. I now see that there is no secret to this knowledge, we just forgot and now our fears block us from the truth. I am now like the hungry bear waking up from a winter sleep. I share my story that I receive from Something Greater. The source of this knowledge is within me and cannot be found in the world. My thoughts and emotions are the key to this process. If my thoughts are full of negativity, I will not understand. If my emotions are full of fear, I cannot understand. If I take the two and balance them for my foundation, I will grow with the knowledge that my emotions bring Something Greater into me and change my thoughts for my spiritual awakening. Through this process, I discovered that my emotions are my link to Something Greater and if I listen, I will see the changes all around me as I prepare for the reality of what I am inside.
My message is one that many throughout history have shared. I only elaborate on how I reached this level of understanding for myself. I had to go through many emotions to find my heaven on earth and each emotion brings me one step closer to this awakening. I now understand what the battle between the darkness and the light is all about. It is within me. My fears block me from the truth and with each barrier I break through, more understanding emerges. I reflect Something Greater in human form. Freewill is given for my uniqueness to express my interpretation of Something Greater in a way that only I can do with these choices.
Even though my experiences may be different than yours, the end result is the same. I am in the mind of Something Greater in physical form. With each passing day, as I seek for more knowledge in this process, I see the world around me changing into an exciting place, full of wonder and awe. The homeless man on the street corner now represents a part of me. The people in my life that causes me stress and difficulty now force me to look at what part of myself needs to change. The rain now symbolizes a reflection of my emotions. I see myself in all around me. The times I thought I was helping someone else has turned into the realization that I really helped myself. The relationships that caused me so much pain has turned into the understanding that I was really working through the fears within myself. I came to the realization that all I went through in my life was necessary for my understanding to reach the next level of my consciousness. Everything around me holds new meaning now. Even the dragonfly that appears is now symbolic of the transformation I am going through as a result. My belief of the perfection of this process brings me messages in everything around me. Speaking my truth brings my thoughts and emotions into my reality. As I seek every day for more understanding, more is revealed to me.